Psych Mike

Are you as "attentive" as the next person?

2008-09-12T16:13:00.002-05:00

Here is a Flesh Map link that is mostly a collection of infographics about body parts and the attention they receive. NOTE: Some of the graphics display "unsafe" bare parts.

Psych Mike's Chanson D'amour Du Jour

2008-09-12T16:08:00.000-05:00

Check out Psych Mike's Chanson D'amour Du Jour (changes daily)!

2008-08-14T13:38:00.001-05:00

Check out Psych Mike's Chanson D'amour Du Jour (changes daily)!

2008-08-12T08:50:00.001-05:00

Love Links - Proof That Love Exists Out There

2008-08-12T08:42:00.003-05:00

When they heard of her engagement, lots of people, including friends and family members, tried to talk Joan Kennedy out of marrying Dickie Steele.
He was in a wheelchair. Unable to speak, fed through a tube, using a machine to help him breathe. With a grim prognosis.
Joan had known it might get complicated, right from the start. Read the Story.

Check out Psych Mike's Chanson D'amour Du Jour (changes daily)!

2008-08-08T13:47:00.004-05:00

tBone: Your future awaits

2008-08-07T09:14:00.001-05:00

O: Why don't the ladies like rubbing all up on my massive tBone? Is it because I play the bass guitar? Only bass players have the finger stamina to rub their [edit] all good like. Help me, Psycho Mike, you're my only hope.

X: While it’s a well-known fact that singers get all the chicks (or dudes) and go to rehab, guitarists prefer the mirror over chicks and drummers just go straight to rehab; bass players save their money, get a house and put their powerful fingers to work as proctologists during the day. Hey, it’s not the front side, but what the heck. And eventually you’ll discover that money and not music is what really attracts girls after the 20s are gone. And if you can’t be a real proctologist, try pretending to be one on stage. Girls dig performance artists, too. Good luck tBone.

And call me when you get back, dahling

2008-08-05T11:45:00.008-05:00

X: Mike, I have a little problem that I am hoping you can help me get through with your words of male wisdom. I am attending college in an adult program. We started in October last year, and I will be going to class with the same people until June of next year, the SAME people. There is this very handsome guy I have my eye on. I asked him if he would like to get coffee or something sometime in December and he said yes. We exchanged numbers, talked a few times, and that was it. He stopped calling, so therefore, I did too. He still talks to me in class and emails me sometimes as well. I still would like to get to know him better so I might be able to have my hands on him (I'm getting bored with just the eyes). My problem is that I do not know if this is something I should pursue or not. So, since you are a guy, I was hoping you could give some insight on this.

O: I’ll try to be gentle, but you must know that you are the only problem in this scenario. Regret is a terrible thing to live with and you’re 10 months away from kicking your own butt (often a debilitating injury). Honestly, the odds are small your little crush will lead to love (if that’s your intention), but it’s a guarantee if you continue to waffle like the International House of Pancakes. When you go shopping, do you look in the windows and never go in? When you go mime hunting, do you only bring a bb gun? You will never know if “this is something you should pursue” unless you pursue it. Edna ‘E’ Mode, the costume designer in the Incredibles, says it best: “What are you talking about? You are [Hyperactive Girl]! My God! Pull yourself together! What will you do? Is...is...is this a question? You will show him that you remember that he is Mr. Incredible! And you will REMIND him, who YOU are! Well, you know where he is... Go! Confront the problem! Fight! Win! And call me when you get back, dahling, I enjoy our visits."

Love, Hate or Head Out of State

2008-07-29T12:13:00.004-05:00

X: I love your new blog site Mike! So...tell me…what kind of advice can you give to us middle-aged women who are going through their dreaded "change of life?" You've seen the kind...the ones who would like to take a sawed off shotgun and mow everyone down one minute and hug everyone the next? Any words of wisdom you can share with us to get us through our manic time of life?

O: Ah, that's an age-old concern. Opps, did I say old age? Anywho, I was in my early teens when my mom went through "the change," and still wear an industrial magnet to keep the lead pellets away from my heart. My dad and I found a nice gothic-looking asylum with decent window treatments, but there's no use pining for the old days. Today there are a three good options:
1. Take a page from the male midlife crisis handbook and drive an expensive convertible to Las Vegas with the best looking gold digger you can find;
2. Watch Thelma and Louise and take careful notes;
3. Medicate…early and often.
Good luck and hide the ammo until you’re on the road (options one and two only, please).

Case of the Traveling Concubine

2008-07-28T15:31:00.006-05:00

X: A guy I work with here started dating this gal about 2 months ago. 2 weeks after they started dating, she left for a 6 week trip to Peru. While she's there, she's made a guy friend and they have been traveling together. Sharing hotel rooms, etc... etc... Should a guy make a stink about that or is that supposed to be cool? I told him I'd ask some female friends of mine.

O: First off, I'm not a chick, though I was quite striking in the 90s. Even assuming the guy is not seeing anyone else, two weeks of dating is not long enough to raise a stink, in my opinion. And this couple assuredly has no "exclusive" deal this early in. So he hasn't the right.
I also believe there is very little chance this traveling concubine is not sleeping with her companion. If she is claiming things are platonic and uses her honesty about the arrangement, hotels and sharing situation as evidence, I would not be impressed. My suspicious nature tells me to think the worse and that her up-front honesty is a ruse. And frankly, I wouldn't blame her. Certainly this fling at home is too new and might not pan out, in her probable opinion. She is simply keeping her options open. I mean, how often does she think she will be able to sink an Inca?
If he can accept his poor poker hand -- and her bluff -- and can start at square one when she returns, go for it. But if he can not accept that she is most certainly seeing a lot more than Machu Picchu in Peru, than he needs to accept reality and move on.